Insomnia

[unbridled_strength]

This seems to be a recurring problem, for her. Everything she knows keeps falling away, leaving her standing in the unknown. Small wonder that she can't relax enough to keep her head on a pillow.

She tries to be quiet, as she sneaks outside. It's darker than she's used to, as she makes her way down to the beach. She's still not used to how little light there is, outside of Midgar. But she can see the stars, and perhaps that's a fair trade. She stands in the shore, letting the thin waves wash over her bare feet.

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[emosey]

Cloud is a light sleeper. He'd already woken up a little bit ago on account of some other noise and he's still awake when he hears the door to one of the nearby rooms open and close again. With how quiet the person is as they pass by outside his own room, he knows it must be either Tifa or Aerith. Barret wouldn't know how to be that quiet if his life depended on it.

A quick peek out of the window confirms his initial suspicions -- it's Tifa, alright. Cloud has never really been the greatest at offering comfort or anything like that, but he figures he ought to check on her just in case.

He follows her from a distance down to the beach, debates once more about just letting her be, before he sighs and moves to close the distance between them.

"What are you doing?"

[unbridled_strength]

She jumps, not quite moving into a fighting stance, but her fists clench, reflexively. She lets out a breath and relaxes, almost immediately as she realizes who it is.

"Cloud," she sounds a little pleased to see him. "You followed me?"

It's a silly question. But she always second guesses things, when it comes to him and her. Even the obvious.

[emosey]

At the very least, she doesn't sound annoyed that he did, so that's already one less thing for Cloud to be concerned about.

"I heard you leave your room. I... was worried," he hesitantly admits.

He's wearing his boots but they're unlaced. After a bit more hesitation, he just steps out of them, leaving them behind as he walks forward to stand side by side with her on the sandy shoreline.

[unbridled_strength]

Why is it, that watching him take off his boots feels significant? Like he's sharing in her vulnerability. She wants to take his hand, but doubt keeps her from following through.

"I'm always waking you up, these days." She thinks of a night, not too long ago, standing in a field of flowers. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you."

[emosey]

He shakes his head, surprising even himself with the vehemence of his next words. "Don't apologize."

Folding his arms across his chest, he averts his gaze as he adds a bit more gently: "If something's bothering you, I want to know."

[unbridled_strength]

He leaves her at a loss for words. She's silent for a moment, her thoughts clear, but as always, they just don't know how to come out.

"I'm scared," she says finally, softly. "How do we know we're doing the right thing? The making right choices?

[emosey]

His brows furrow. It's no wonder that she has such kind of doubts hanging over her head; while they'd left Midgar behind in a blaze of triumph, there had been many devastating failures along the way -- some of them literally catastrophic at the time.

"... I don't think anybody can ever know that kind of thing for sure." There are plenty of moments when he doubts in even his ability to do anything worthwhile to help. Right now being one of them.

But, while he isn't normally the best person for motivating pep-talks, he can understand where she's coming from on this one, and that makes it a bit easier even for someone like him to be able to empathize.

He touches the back of his neck, feeling a bit awkward as he continues on.

"There's nothing wrong with asking questions. It'd be pretty stupid to just go along blindly with what other people say. But... if it's something important to you... Something you feel is really worth fighting for at the end of it all... Then I think you've just got to learn to trust yourself more."

Missing words in that last tag ugh

[unbridled_strength]

Cloud should rethink his abilities on giving advice. Every time he does it for her, he says exactly the right thing. He has a gift for saying what she needs to hear.

"I want to." Water rushes in, cool across her feet, and pulls away again. It's so much easier to hear advice, than to act on it. "In the moment, I'm certain. The right thing seems clear. But after, I can't help but wonder."

She sighs, have cutting into fists. She turns towards him, a bit abruptly.

"I hate knowing that there were things we've done, that could have been different. Our lives could have been so different."

[emosey]

"You're right. It's our choices that led us here. Not all of them were great. But there's no going back to the way things were. Every mistake we've made -- we just have to live with it now. I know it's hard, but what else can we do?"

He wants to console her, somehow, but he hasn't forgotten how graceless his last attempt had been, outside of Aerith's house that one night. He'd squeezed her a little too tightly then, made things uncomfortable for them both. Though a part of him longs to reach for her, his arms continue to hang rigidly at his side.

"Every day is a new chance to be better."

[unbridled_strength]

They're sharing the same terrible regret. She wants to reach out to him so badly, but the last time, she'd been overwhelmed by his response. It hadn't been painful, the way he'd held her. It had been surprising, intense. And she'd ruined it then. Now they're standing so close, and it's like they're miles apart.

"You always know what to say," she says, instead of being brave. She doesn't blink when faced with helicopter mounted artillery, but put her in perfectly romantic settings, with the one thing she truly wants, and she can't bring herself to take the risk.

"Cloud... I don't know how much I trust in myself, but I trust you. Until I'm ready, let me follow you."

[emosey]

Cloud is fine with being a leader on the battlefield and making those kinds of strategic decisions for the whole team of them, but he has way less experience with this side of things.

"Do what you want."

He doesn't mean to sound so annoyed with her, his nervousness getting the best of him in this moment. Cloud instantly wishes he could take those words and shove them right back into his mouth. In his sudden desperation that she doesn't get the wrong idea, his gloved hand darts between them to grab one of hers.

[unbridled_strength]

There's an emotional whiplash, between his words and his actions. It leaves her stunned, for a moment, while her mind -and her heart- catches up.

She breathes, heavy and deliberate. Then her fingers close tight around his hand. She moves into his side, wrapping her other hand around the bend of his elbow, taking the chance to be close, when words seem to be failing.

[emosey]

"Tifa, I--"

There's precious little space between their bodies right now. He doesn't just hear but feels how heavily she's breathing. Cloud's eyes squeeze shut and his teeth grit a moment, drawing in a breath of his own through his nose and forcing himself to hold it for a few seconds before slowly exhaling again, trying to regain some semblance of composure.

"I'm sorry. That came out really wrong."

[unbridled_strength]

Too many emotions are to blame. It's always been like this, between them, at least for Tifa. So many things unsaid, and never the right words, or the most honest ones.

"Shh." She shakes her head, and then tucks it onto his shoulder. They're bad at talking to each other, so maybe they should stop trying for a little while. Just be.

"It's been a long time, since we looked at the stars together."

[emosey]

Cloud hesitates only a short moment before allowing his head to rest lightly against the side of hers, gaze flickering up to take notice of the night sky for the first time since he'd left his room to follow after her. The temperature outside is actually quite cool this close to the ocean, especially with a light breeze blowing. Tifa, in contrast, radiates a warmth that he finds himself wanting to press further into.

"The moon will be full soon." It's quite full looking as it is, but the more he stares up at it, the more apparent it is that a sliver of it appears to be missing.

[unbridled_strength]

"It's beautiful." The view, the moment. It's perfect; everything she wants. And she lets herself pretend, just for now, that things are different.

It can't last forever. The breeze kicks up, raising goosebumps on her skin. She turns into Cloud, a little more, having no idea that he might be feeling as chilled as she.

"I should have worn shoes," she says, soft humor in her tone.

[emosey]

Cloud lets go of her hand finally, and any reluctance he might feel in doing so is quickly forgotten, as this now leaves him free to properly embrace her -- strong arms fully encompassing her lithe form, although he's careful not to squeeze too tightly this time. "You'd just be dumping sand out of them for the next 2 days."

[unbridled_strength]

She laughs, as she slips her arms around his waist. It feels so right, being held in his arms. She's gluttonous in this moment, snuggling herself as close as possible, tucking her head into the curve of his neck.

"But my toes wouldn't be so cold." She brushes a cold, damp foot along his ankle. Just so he sees her point. It's completely innocent.

[emosey]

He startles a bit at the unfamiliar sensation, huffing with an exaggerated displeasure but doesn't use it as an excuse to push her away. "Maybe you should have gone to the hot tub instead of the beach."

[unbridled_strength]

"Maybe next time." She grins, glad he took her teasing in stride. She'd have kicked herself, if she accidentally ruined the moment again.

"I'm happy right here."

[emosey]

"Are you going to make me carry you back to bed?" Any suggestiveness in such a question is lost on him, fortunately or unfortunately as the case may be.

/smacks him

[unbridled_strength]

Oh Cloud.

"Hmmm..." She playfully considers the offer. "You might have to. My poor toes are icy."

Does she actually think he will? Maybe. Probably not. But she does take the opportunity to sneak her toes under his pants leg, again.

whoops

[emosey]

"I could build a fire but the tide will probably be coming in soon." It's about that time of night. "We might want to clear off the beach anyway."

As punishment for her putting her clammy feet on him, he makes good on his offer and scoops her up off the ground without any further warning.

I mean it's very ic.

[unbridled_strength]

Is that a punishment? Is he sure?

She makes a surprised little yip -"Cloud!"- as he scoops her up. She wraps her arms around his neck, quickly, even though there's no fear of him dropping her. He wouldn't.

[emosey]

Cloud waits for her to stop squirming before he starts walking. "Maybe we should stay here another day. What do you think?"

If it was just Cloud by himself, he would keep on going without a second thought. But he has the others' needs to consider, too. Everybody seems so worn down lately, the girls especially. None of them would ever actually ask him for a break. Which is probably all the more reason that he should give them one.

[unbridled_strength]

She settles, because she can tell that he's not budging. It gives her the excuse to relax, and just enjoy this.

"You think we can spare the time?" There's a hint of hope in her tone. She'd like to relax, even if it's just a day. But she also feels the weight of their mission, the looming threat of Sephiroth, pressing around them. It's part of why she couldn't sleep.

[emosey]

He can tell it was the right thing to say, from the way her voice changes. That certainly settles things then, as far as he's concerned. "It'll be fine."

Cloud steps back into his shoes, knowing he'll need to shake them out tomorrow, and carefully climbs up the stairs to the main walkway that leads back to the inn. The only problem now is that he's wide awake and not terribly eager to lose her company just yet.

[unbridled_strength]

Tifa's not any more tired either. She feels better, but not sleepy. How could she be? She's alone, in the arms, of the most important person, in her life.

"I'm not tired yet." She lets the confession out quietly.

[emosey]

"Me either," he admits. "Do you want to get your shoes?" That will open up some options for them, probably. Not that he really minds carrying her like this.

[unbridled_strength]

"That's probably a good idea. You can't carry me around all night."

Not that she minds it. Really, she's emotions it a great deal more than she's letting on. But there's only so long he can carry her before something has to give. Knowing the two of them, it would turn awkward. Better to not get to that point.

[emosey]

A comfortable silence falls over them then, in the few minutes that it takes to get back to the inn. Cloud gently deposits her in front of the door to her room and while he waits for her to grab her shoes, he bends down to properly lace up his own boots this time.